I was looking through some photos of Disney stuff and I came across this...
And it just reduced me to tears. It's probably the reason why I can't watch Dumbo. The same thing happens if I ever listen to "Baby Mine" the song that Jumbo sings to Dumbo. It just always reminds me of my Mum, she bought a Dumbo stuffed teddy when we went out to Florida when I was 5, and I've just always associated it with my Mum. When I went to Uni I just could not listen to "Baby Mine" without becoming a blubbering mess.
My Mum was a single parent, although we do live with my aunty who helped to raise me. I'm not going to put a whole sob story here, I just wanted to convey how small and tight our family unit is. So going to Uni was a huge hurdle for me, and since moving back home I have felt sort of like a kid again. At Uni I used to have to look after myself, no-one who was too sympathetic when I was ill etc, and being at home now Mum is here to look after me and its been brilliant to just retreat back into my cosy little shell.
Now having to leave it is going to be so hard. I'm so so happy I have got a position as a CRP cast member, I wished and dreamed for it, and so did my family, they have been so supportive. And I'm glad that I have visited Florida tonnes of times, so it's not like I'm going into the completely unknown. Just I'll have to be away from home for a whole year, and not see my Mum at all for 6 months before she comes out to visit me. And I guess I haven't really talked about it to many people as I fear they may think I don't appreciate my place, or that they just don't understand and think I'm a sentimental idiot!
I know once I get out there I'll have a few bad days at the beginning, the evenings will be worst. So I ask anyone who is going out before me, please, come and take my mind off it! I can see me crying- ALOT! Once I've settled in, got my bearings and am kept busy I should be a lot better- just with the occassional soppy sentimental moment. I just dread the moment at the airport where I have to go through security and leave my family behind, the horrible heartwrenching feeling. Just thinking about it makes me tearful. I know it will be worth it... I just fear the worst parts. For every tear I'm sure there will be at least one smile.
"Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes,
Rest your head, close to my heart
Never to part, Baby of mine."
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